


Blue Moon 2, High Above the Rainbow

by Remlundskan



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-01
Updated: 2013-02-01
Packaged: 2017-11-27 19:27:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/665593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remlundskan/pseuds/Remlundskan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few months after Blue Moon 1, Starbug gets a visitor. But who is he, really?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue Moon 2, High Above the Rainbow

Lister was numb. There was no other explanation for it. Depressingly so! Everything he did, he did automatically. He ate without enjoying the taste; he even turned down his flirting with Kochanski to a minimun. And every night, he had the same dream. Not exactly the same dream, persay, diffrent scenarios every time, but they all ended the same way; him holding on to Rimmer, as tightly as possible, their lips meeting, their tongues dancing, their bodies moving together as one... And then he would wake up, covered in his own cum, cursing Rimmer's name in one breath, declaring his love for the hologram in the next.

It was agony, pure and simple! And, since he couldn't excactly talk about this with the others, he kept it all inside and went about as if everything was normal. He did try to talk to someone, after the first dream, the fairly innocent one. He had woken up at the exact moment their lips touched the first time and it had freaked him out. Big time! He had talked to Kryten about it, which of course was a big mistake. He had talked to Krissie about it, without mentioning the kiss, of course, and that had freaked *Kryten* out! And after going through the Rimmer Experience, he really thought it was over. He really did!

Two nights later, he woke up from the same dream, only this time, it hadn't ended with a kiss. No, sir! He had woken up only seconds after Rimmer started sucking his cock. It wasn't over! Far from it! After that, it only got worse. Every night, they went a little further and every night, he woke up with a hardon that just wouldn't quit, or sweaty after having climaxed in his sleep. And it was killing him! By now, he missed Rimmer so much, that the mere thought of his friend made his chest ache. But as far as the rest of the crew was conserned, everything was normal.

And it was! Apart from the fact that he was so numb that his every move was on autopilot. He felt as though there was something he was supposed to remember, something that he was supposed to do, but for the life of him, he could not figure out what it was.

He was about to ask Kryten, sitting at the table, right next to him, complaining about finding Krissies underwear in the laundry-room again, when Cat called from the cockpit, saying that he picked up a scent. Something was approaching Starbug and doing so fast. Cat's nose was never wrong! Lister and Kryten exchanged one single look and ran into the cockpit, staring bewildered at the screen.

"What is it?" asked Lister.

And then, they heard a voice:

"Long time – no see, old chums! Permission to come aboard?"

Lister went white (which, in itself, was a sight to be seen), Cat exitedly called:

"Sure thing, Ace-buddy!"

And Kryten looked absolutely... horrified.

Lister's heart was beating so loudly in his chest that it was a miracle no-one else heard it. He wouldn't dare look at Kris. One look at her and she would know something was up. And oh, something was up! But, in his defence, he had every right to feel this way! Rimmer?! Here?! Why? Was something wrong? And how was he supposed to face Rimmer, after all his dreams and fantasies and…

Smeg! What if it wasn't Rimmer? Or rather, what if it wasn't 'his' Rimmer? What if this one was new? What if Rimmer was gone... like really gone, this time? And this was just his successor? And what the bleedin' smeg was up with Kryten? He was fidgeting even more than usual, looking even more flustered than the time they went through the reality-pocket and everyone believed that Lister was a robot. Something was definitely not right here.

Only problem was that not only did Lister not know... but he didn't care. He cared about one thing and one thing only... If the Ace they were expecting really was 'his' Rimmer... Should he tell him the truth? About his feelings? About his dreams and fantasies and how much he had missed Arnold?

He ventured a glance in Krissie's direction and knew instantly, from the frown on her pretty face, that he'd better start thinking about something else very quickly. Something that didn't involve Rimmer, or Rimmer's lips against his or Rimmer naked, on his back, saying Lister's name over and over as Lister fucked him into oblivion... Oh, smeg!

"You alright?" she asked and for a brief, split-second, he actually, honestly, thought about telling her the truth. But all he said was:

"Yeah, sure!" And then he walked away to join the others, to be, once more, with ALL the Boys from the Dwarf. He knew he shouldn't have said anything. But he couldn't care about what she thought, anymore than he could care about why Kryten was acting the way he did.

3 3 3 3 3

Ace Rimmer, Space Hero, Adventurer and Lover Extraordinere, was oozing charm and sensuality, just as he always did. The way Rimmer *never* did! He was giving out compliments like it was candy and had prim, proper Kristine Kochanski giggling like a schoolgirl in no time. But something was not right. Kryten, though he tried his best to hide it, wasn't fawning over Ace the way he usually did. And Lister, even though *he* tried his best to hide it as well, was secretly staring at Ace, looking for clues or hints that this was indeed 'his' Rimmer. Hoping that Rimmer would give him a look, or a wink, or a big sign that said *Yep, it's me!*

And found none!

He felt his heart sink in a pit of despair. This wasn't Rimmer! Well, it was, of course, but it wasn't... *his* Rimmer! Which meant that... Rimmer was really gone! His friend... was dead and gone for good and really, it shouldn't hurt so much, cause he knew this day would come, but it did. He had to fight every part of his body that wanted to have a proper break-down, so that he could be allowed to mourn.

"You alright there, Davey-boy?"

Smeg! He forced his smile to reach his eyes.

"Yeah, man, sure! It's good to see you!"

And it was! It was good to see him. Even if it wasn't... *him*. He bit his lip. Focus, Dave, fer smegs sake!

"So... Whatcha doin' here, man?"

"In a second, Davey. First, I have something rather important to discuss with my good buddy Kryters here. –What do you say, old boy, can you spare me a minute of your valuable time?

Lister stared at Kryten. If mechanoids could blush, Kryten would look like an overgrown tomato by now.

"Why... Yes, mr Ace, sir! Of course! Erm... Right this way..."

Lister watched them walk away together and he couldn't really shake the feeling that instead of sounding like an awe-struck fanboy, Kryten had almost sounded... afraid.

"What a guy!" Cat sighed dreamily and Krissie walked over to Lister.

"So... was that... you know... the Rimmer from this dimension or was it someone else?"

He really shouldn't have told her the truth about Rimmer, but... Well, hell, it was Kochanski. He had never been able to keep anything from her.

"Someone else!" Lister said, quietly. "That's not 'our' Rimmer. That Rimmer is gone!"

Krissie actually looked sympathetic.

"You mean he's dead?"

"He was already dead, Kris!" And he pretended that saying the words didn't make him hurt all over. "Now, he's not only dead, he's... gone! Like... not coming back, ever-kind of gone!"

He heard himself in his head, saying to Rimmer "You're not dead, are ya? I mean, you're dead! But you're not *dead* dead, because you're still here, aren't you?" Smeg! Now, he was more than just dead. He was killed! Something had murdered the one friend he had, and made sure that Lister would never see him again. Sure, there was Ace, but looking like Rimmer and talking like Rimmer… didn't make him *Dave's* Rimmer. He hoped against all hope that she didn't hear the hitch in his voice, that she didn't see the tears in his eyes. If she did, she didn't say anything about it, and for that, Lister loved her even more.

She was a good friend! And that was it!

He loved her, would always love her, would always have that dream of them living together on Fiji... But he wasn't in love with her. Not anymore! Hadn't been for a long time now! He was in love with someone else. Someone who was gone forever, not coming back... and a hologram!

"I'm sorry!" she said and Lister swallowed a sob. He felt her arm around his shoulders and heard her order Cat back into the cockpit. But it was all so distant. His feet were moving, which meant that he was walking. But, like everything else these days, they moved on autopilot.

Rimmer was gone! Killed! Even through his worst fears, there was always that tiny glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, some day, he would come back. And now, that hope was gone, too!

It sounded like Kris was talking, which meant that she was walking right next to him, but he wasn't paying attention. Rimmer was really gone this time! He had really left! He was killed! For good, not ever coming back, so long, smeghead... Gone!

"Would you like me to stay with you?" Kristine asked.

'Yes!' Thought Lister.

"No!" He said out loud.

She nodded and gave him a sad smile. They entered the sleeping-quarters and Lister went to sit down by the table, staring at his hands.

"If you need to talk...", she said and turned to walk out.

He nodded. And then, his mouth opened again.

"Kris?"

"Yeah, Dave?"

Lister thought about the hundred different things he could say, not one of which would make either of them feel any better. He shrugged helplessly.

"Nothing, nevermind!"

Again, he got a nod and a sad smile. She always did understand him better than anyone. That is... Until Rimmer! This time, as she turned towards the door, he watched her leave, but didn't call her back.

He was alone! All he needed was a few minutes to himself. He had to go back soon, had to smile and be the Dave Lister they all thought they knew. But before that, he needed just a few moments alone, to think about his friend. They had been through so much together, seen so much, done so much... They had fun! And now... His friend Rimmer, his best friend Rimmer… His Rimmer was gone!

"Bye, man!" he said out loud, a single tear running down his cheek, closely followed by anther one. "I'll miss you!"

There was a knock on the door and then, that voice again:

"You in there, Skipper?"

Lister managed a deep, shuddering breath and quickly wiped his eyes on his sleeve, before answering.

"Yeah, Ace, man, come on in!"

Time to suck it up, Lister thought, a mere second before the door opened and Ace Rimmer, who was so obviously not 'his' Rimmer, came in and the door closed behind him.

A few seconds of complete silence followed. Lister forced himself to look up... and saw Ace Rimmer, the one who was so definetly not 'his' Rimmer, take off his blonde wig, throw it on the top bunk, run his fingers through his short, dark hair and say, in a voice that went straight to Lister's heart:

"Finally, I've waited all smegging day to do that!"

Lister stared, his heart beating like crazy in confused joy. And then Rimmer, Arnold Rimmer, *the* Rimmer, HIS Rimmer, the only Rimmer allowed in this universe... gave him a typical trademark-grin.

"You know, Listy, a proper way to greet a returning hero is not to sit around blubbering, and look like someone smashed your guitar and used it for firewood. According to Space Corps. directive 248..."

Lister flew out of the chair and into Rimmer's open arms.

"You stupid... bleedin'... smeghead!" he sobbed, his face buried in Rimmer's flightjacket.

"I've missed you too, Listy!"

It struck a chord! Somewhere, something, deep inside Lister, heard those words and knew exactly what should come next. Lister didn't even bother to stop and think, his head and his heart were both screaming at the same time. He looked up, right into those eyes that he had seen so many times in his dreams.

"Arn..." Nothing more than a choked whisper... and then he pressed his lips to the hologram's in a bruising kiss. He registrered surprise and resistance, for about two seconds, and then, every dream that Lister had ever had became real, as Rimmer pulled him close and reciprocated the kiss.

They stayed that way until it finally came down to the choice of letting go of Rimmer, or pass out, due to oxygen deprivation. Lister let go and instantly wished that he had made a diffrent choice. Then he saw the look on Rimmer's face. This was *not* Ace Rimmer, Space Hero Adventurer and Lover Extraordinere. This was HIS Rimmer, looking chocked and flustered and flushed with desire. If Lister ever had any doubt about his feelings for Arnold, they dissolved in that moment. He had never been more in love with anyone in his life!

"If you ever pull a stunt like that, ever again, I won't care if you're dead, I'll smegging kill you myself! I thought you were dead, you smegger!"

"I *am* dead!" Rimmer pointed out, still looking a bit dazed. "And for the record... You kissed me!"

"I thought you were someone else! A new Ace! I thought I was never going to see you again... Hey! What do you mean 'I kissed you'? You kissed me right back, you know!"

And then he smiled, tears running down his face. He was so happy; every part of his body was dancing exitedly. They had been alone no more than two minutes, for the first time in months, and it was as if they had never been apart. He loved this! He wanted this!

"Stay!" he said, the smile fading from his lips.

"What?"

"Don't leave! I mean... Go, find a new Ace, and then came back here and stay with us!"

"Listy..."

"Please, Rimmer, you don't understand! You don't know how it's been... I've been miserable without you."

"Well, I'm sure having ms Pinball-face Kochanski around helped relieve some of that misery. You finally have everything you ever wanted, Lister, don't tell me that you, somehow..."

"No, I don't! I don't have you! That's what I've always wanted, Rimmer. You! Not Kris – you! I love Krissie, I do, I always will, but I'm not in love with her, you smeghead... I'm in love with you! Fer smegs sake, Rimmer, I love you, don't you get that?!"

"Lister, will you shut up for a second and listen?!"

Lister nodded and took a step back. Not quite what he had in mind when he first started dreaming about the day when he told Rimmer he loved him.

Rimmer took a deep breath, as if mentally preparing himself for a huge speech. But nothing came out. He opened his mouth, and then closed it again, a look of utter confusion on his face. Lister found himself mentally undressing the hologram as he waited for Rimmer to say... whatever it was that he wanted to say.

But whatever it was that Rimmer wanted to say, it seemed that he was suddenly more interested in... something that Lister said... about...

"You love me?!" He looked more stunned than chocked, to tell the truth.

Lister jumped, lost in his fantasy, and stared at him.

"Huh? Yeah! Go figure! I mean, you're a complete smeghead, you drive me crazy, and you're an insufferable git... But you're MY insufferable git! So yeah, I love you! I love you, Arn! I wasn't lying on the psy-moon, that was the truth. I just didn't realize, until you left; just how badly I needed you around... how much I wanted you...around..."

His cheeks were burning. None, not one of all the dreams and fantasies he'd had, had been like this. This was different! This was real! Rimmer was actually standing there, in front of him. And, the thing that made his heart want to jump out through his chest and into his hands, just so that he could offer it to the one he loved, was that when he kissed Rimmer... Rimmer kissed him back!

"So... What you're saying is... if I understand this correctly... The point you're trying to make... is that all these years... You've been in love with me?"

"Yes! Well... No! Well... Sort of, yeah, but not like that, so... No!"

"Huh! Right, then, that cleared everything up for me, thanks, Lister!"

"No, what I meant was... It wasn't until you left and I started having dreams about you, that I realized that I missed you. Hell, I even called Cat Rimmer once. I didn't even think, it just... felt natural."

"I'm sure that went well!"

"Well, you know Cat! Anyway, I...came to the conclusion that I not only missed you... I had these wierd feelings for you. I didn't even know it was love at first. After the first dream, I tried talking to both Kryten and Kris and they... helped."

No way was he telling Arnold about the Rimmer-Experience. Either way, it didn't work, did it?

"And then, the dreams changed, they turned more... physical and we... We did some stuff that... *You* did stuff to me that no-one had ever done before and it was... it was smeggin' great... And the sex was mind-blowing..."

"Sex?!" And yes, apparently, holograms could blush!

"And then I would wake up... and you were gone... and I hated you for leaving me... And I loved you so much it hurt to even think about you. All I could think about some days was how I would feel when we found out you were gone, that you were killed and replaced and would never come back... And you would never know the truth."

"What... truth is that?" Rimmer asked, his voice cracking just a fraction.

It was Lister's turn to take a deep breath. In for pennycent-in for a dollarpound!

"That I love you... and want you... and need you..."

And for every word, he took one step closer to Rimmer, until they were standing so close that Lister could see the myriad of emotions flickering in the hologram's eyes, surprise, relief, confusion, longing, each one fighting for control. He took another deep breath and decided to take the final step.

"You want me to show you?"

"Lister, are you insane? That's it, isn't it? You've finally gone off the deep end and this is nothing more than some kind of... sick joke to try and make me admit so something that would never, ever... Not even if you were the last human alive... Never, Listy, do you understand me? This might come as a complete surprise to you, miladdie, but I have not exactly lived the life of a monk these months. Women throw themselves at me, lemme tell you, and the very idea, that I..."

It worked in his dreams; it should work in real life as well. Lister just took one of Rimmer's flailing hands and pressed it, hard, against his growing erection.

It worked just as well in real life! Lister was mighty pleased with himself!

"You feel that? This is what you do to me, Arn! You feel how badly I want you... to touch you... for you to touch me..."

Rimmer stared at him. But he could deny it till the cows came home, Lister could see, clear as day, that the emotion winning the battle for dominance, was pure, uninhibited lust. He had almost won. Almost! Only one thing left!

"This isn't some cruel joke to try and lure you out of the closet, Arn! There's just you and me here! And I want you, Rimmer! Smeg, I want you so bad, I ache for you... And you want me too, Arnold! I know you do! There's a part of you that does want me, and you know it, just as well as I do!"

He knew that Rimmer had tried his best to ignore the fact that Lister knew his deepest, darkest secret. That Lister had seen Low Rimmer, in all his glory, the dark hologram that called Lister 'pretty' and promised to 'have him'. Lister never told Kryten or Cat about that part. He just said that meeting their low counterparts had been scary and freaky and he never wanted to go through that again. But he knew, and Rimmer knew and he could tell that Rimmer knew exactly what he was talking about now.

He took one step closer, invading Rimmer's personal space to the limit, and looked deep into the other man's eyes, stuck out his tongue and wet his lips, practically begging for a kiss.

"So... I'm gonna ask you... one more time..."

"...yes..." Nothing more than a breath of air, a word so quiet, no mortal would be able to pick it up.

"Do you want me..."

"Yes!" A whisper this time.

"...To show you?"

"Yes... Yes!" More urgently this time.

Lister closed his eyes for a second to mentally thank whatever power it was he had on his side and reached up with his other hand to pull Rimmer's face closer and kissed him again. There was no confusion or even resistance this time and Lister poured every ounce of his soul into that kiss. Rimmer responded instantly, his arm reaching around Lister to pull him even closer. And the hand pressed against Lister suddenly gave a shy squeeze. Lister groaned into Rimmer's mouth and pushed against that teasing hand. He wanted more! He needed more! He wanted skin on skin and the sooner he got it, the better it would be.

The only thing different from his dreams was that this was better. This was real! And it was enough to make his head swell... Both his heads. Rimmer was trembling in his arms like a virgin on the wedding-night and it was fascinating how hot Lister got just by thinking about it. Rimmer was a virgin in this department, of that he was certain, and that suited Lister just fine. Although one of his favorite fantasies was Rimmer being the confident, dominant one with all the experince, channeling his lower self as he made Lister scream in exctacy, he liked it even better when he was the one with the experience, showing Rimmer things he never even dreamed possible...

He couldn't wait to hear Rimmer cry out in orgasm. But he wasn't stupid! He had to do this slowly. Only problem was that what felt right and natural right now; was to get Rimmer naked and on the bed as quickly as possible. Oh, his body liked that idea. There was no way he could even begin to deny that his dick jumped at the thought. There was no way he could hide that from Arnie, not when the smegger still had his hand covering Lister's crotch.

He tore his lips away from Rimmer's and whispered a word in the other man's ear, that made the hologram's knees go week.

"Bed!"

And then he started working on getting rid of that stupid flight jacket. Clothes were nothing but obstacles on his way to sweet release and he wanted to get rid of them. As soon as the jacket touched the floor, it evaporated, and he started working on making Rimmer's pants meet the same fate.

He didn't even notice that the hand on his dick was gone, until he saw that Rimmer was trying to take Lister's shirt off. His hands shook so hard, however, that he couldn't get a good enough grip. It was taking too long and they were wasting valuable seconds, so Lister simply ripped off his shirt and went back the important task of getting Rimmer naked. He pushed his body into Rimmer and practically tore off his vest.

"Listy..."

Smeg, that voice would be the death of him. It was something of a combination of Ace's barytone and Rimmer's nasal... Or maybe it was something in between the two... And it was raw and husky and thick with need. It made Lister's body tingle.

Suddenly impatient, he pushed Rimmer's pants down to his ankles, went down on his knees and started pulling the underwear as well. Nothing he hadn't done before. He had been in this position lots of times in his dreams, they always took turns doing this in his fantasies, so he figured he had enough experience.

"Smeg, you smell so good", he said, wondering to himself the second those words came out just when the smeg he had turned so mushy. But it was true. It was just not something he had thought about before. In his dreams, he always focused more on taste than scent.

But smeg, Rimmer smelled good!

"Dave..."

Lister looked up, meeting Rimmer's clouded gaze. It wasn't exactly the first time he had seen Rimmer with no clothes on. They had been roommates, after all. It wasn't even the first time he had seen Rimmer with no clothes on, and felt a secret longing to ravish the man, he could admit that to himself by now. But it was definetly the first time, in real life, that he had seen Rimmer with no clothes on, because Lister had taken them off.. He was breathing hard; the enormosity of the situation was catching up to him. This was really happening! He wasn't going to wake up, alone in bed, as soon as things heated up.

A wave of exhiliration filled him and he reached out and gently touched Rimmer's erect cock with his fingers. Smeg it all, this was hotter than any dream of fantasy he had ever had. Even dead... A hologram, for smegs sake... Arnold felt warm... throbbing... *alive*... in his hand and he started moving it slowly, up and down, watching Rimmer's legs tremble, hearing the short, rapid breaths coming from above him. It was... surreal!

"Please..."

It was the tone of voice that made Lister move in for the kill. That voice was enough to make his neglected cock weep in anticipation. At any other time, if they ever got to that point, he could probably achieve orgasm; just by listening to Arnold speak to him in that voice. He was so hard right now, it was painful, but for the moment he tried to ignore that and focused all of his attention on Rimmer, intent on bringing pleasure to his lover.

So what if he had never actually done anything remotely like this, ever... to anyone? Right now, with Rimmer, everything he did felt right, it felt natural, it was as if he instinctivly knew just what to do to bring pleasure. And so, he brought Rimmer's dick to his mouth, licked his lips, and then, tentativly, took him in, like they'd been lovers for years.

He might be a rookie, but judging by the body language, he was doing a pretty good job.

"Listy... Oh, smeg... List... Dave, please... oh, smeg, yes..."

Lister felt almost giddy with pride. It would be interesting to find out what he might be able to make Rimmer say or do, if he pushed all the right buttons. He gave into an impulse and gently blew on the glistening head, resulting in a harsh, Ionian curse from the hologram. Lister smirked. Oh, he was going to make Rimmer scream if it was the last thing he did.

Satisfied with this plan, he went back to giving Rimmer the best blowjob ever, holding on to the rotating hips as he sucked Arnies cock with all the slobbering enthusiasm of a beginner. He found that he loved the feeling of a man's dick in his mouth. It was like he was born for this; his lips were made for this. He loved the texture of the throbbing member and the power... Smeg, the sense of power he got was intoxicating! The knowledge that it was him, Dave Lister, that made Arnold Rimmer sound like that, and move like that... The cat-people must've been right. He really must be God, because right now, he sure felt like it!

After a while he decided to try something else. It was time to take them to the next level. Using both hands to squeeze Arnold's flexing arse, he suddenly swallowed his lover's dick whole, deepthroating him as much as possible (which, to be honest, wasn't really that difficult), while gently pressing his right middlefinger against the tight opening.

Rimmer moaned out loud, grabbing on to Lister's shoulders to keep from falling, Lister's name falling from his lips over and over, like a mantra. Or a prayer.

Lister, his ears ringing with the sound of Rimmer's voice, got a small taste of bliss as he felt the drops of pre-cum on his tongue. He would have smiled, if his mouth had not been busy sucking cock. Slowly, but surely, he worked his finger inside Rimmer's arse. 'Just getting you good and ready for the real thing, mate', he thought, 'so prepare yourself for two more'.

They really should have moved to the bed before starting this thing. Lister's knees were starting to buckle. And if they were going to finish this the way he wanted to... They had to make that move! Now! Removing his lips, but not his finger, he looked up, panting slightly, and said Rimmer's name. Rimmer was keeping his eyes tightly shut, as if he was afraid to open them. Lister understood, perhaps better than anyone, what Rimmer was going through right now.

"Rimmer... Look at me, man..."

He used one hand to masturbate Rimmer's dick and the other to drive him crazy from behind. And Arnold, although he was obviously enjoying himself immencely, was still hard. Whatever he had done during his time as Ace, it had made wonders, not only for his confidence, but for his stamina and self-control as well. Just like in his dreams and fantasies, Lister felt like asking about all those women, throwing themselves at Ace, how many he had actually slept with... But, just like he did in his dreams, he knew, deep down, that he didn't really want to know. Not that he was jealous or anything like that, it just... wasn't important. He didn't care! Rimmer was here, with him, and Lister needed to shag him right now, before dying of blue balls.

He slowly withdrew his finger and Rimmer finally looked down, looking like one huge, sexual creature with eyes that were burning with desire and lust. Lister moaned quietly. His dick was so hard it tried to drill it's way out of his pants.

"We need to move this party to the bed, Rimmer! There is no way I'm shagging you on the floor!"

Rimmer looked at him like he was either dreaming or Lister had suddenly started speaking GELF. If Lister hadn't been so fucking horny, he would have laughed. But he didn't! Instead, he got up on his feet, grabbed Rimmer and pulled him close for another kiss. Rimmer paused for about a fraction of a second before responding, his hands buried deep in Lister's hair, holding him steady, and Lister wondered if Rimmer maybe could taste himself on Lister's tongue.

"I'm not done with you yet, Arn", he murmured, moving his lips from mouth to ear to neck, nipping and biting along the way. "Not by a long shot!" Another nip, another bite, another lick. "Now, get your arse up on that bed!" Another kiss, another bite, this time on Rimmer's bottom lip. "I'm gonna shag you stupid, Rimmer, so hard and so sweet that you'll forget your own smeggin' name. You got that?"

Rimmer nodded, moving his head up and down so fast it made Lister smile. He took a step back and started taking off his pants and boots. Rimmer wobbled over to the bed, a naked man with one single purpouse in life, and lied down, not taking his eyes away from Lister for a second.

It was happening! It was really happening, this time for real, and Lister couldn't get naked fast enough. He had a naked Rimmer lying on his bed. A naked, horny Rimmer, lying on his bed, waiting for him... and he was stroking himself.

Lister almost had a heart attack when he saw it.

"Smeg... I fucking love you so much!"

He pounced on Rimmer, covering every inch of skin with kisses and bites until Rimmer was a quivering mass of need under him, whining his name over and over.

Satisfied with the results, Lister turned him over and did the same to Rimmer's back and buttocks, kissing and biting, nipping and licking, teasing mercilessly, before entering him again, this time with two well-sucked, wet fingers. He had Rimmer hollering like a banshee within minutes.

This was sooo much better than any dream or fantasy could ever be. Because it was real! Lister had to constantly remind himself of that. This wasn't a dream! Rimmer was really here. With him! He wasn't going to wake up alone! Not this time!

"You ready for this, Arn?"

"Yes! Yes, for smegs sake, yes, Listy, just do it, *please*!"

Well, who was he to deny his lover anything? Lister got up on his knees again, still working his two fingers in and out, loving the way Rimmer's hips rose up and then sank back down, frantically, as if trying to swallow Lister's fingers with his arse. With his other arm, Lister reached up to the top bunk and pulled down a pillow, that he placed under Rimmer, lifting him up a bit. He wasn't exactly worried about hurting his lover, Legion made sure of that when he made Rimmer hardlight and damn near indestructable, but even though he knew this, Lister gently removed his fingers and replaced them with his hard dick, slowly pressing himself inside that incredible heat, watching himself dissapear inside Rimmer.

It *never* felt like this in his dreams!

The heat, sure, the tightness surrounding his cock, definetly, but not the increased beating of his heart, not the surprising, unusual feeling of belonging, of finally... coming home, being right where he was supposed to be, where he belonged.

He tried to speak, tried to say something, smegging anything, to make himself, and Rimmer, relax, but no words left his mouth. Once again, his brain was malfunctioning. And how could he expect otherwice? When he was buried deep in his lover's arse and said lover was pushing said arse high in the air, trying to take in as much of Lister as possible.

It was heaven! Pure and simple and blissful... agonizing, hot, white spikes of lust. He was almost afraid to move. If he moved now, he would cum! Of this, he was certain. Nothing in his entire life had ever felt like this.

"Listy..."

"Yeah?"

"Smegging move, already!"

Lister took a deep, shuddering breath, pulled out a bit and then went right back in. Holy smeg! Another thrust, and out... in... and out again, in, out, in out... He saw stars! Moved a fraction to the left, tried again. Delicious heat, but not heavenly bliss! A fraction to the right... pulled out... slammed back inside... and Arnold Rimmer suddenly moaned into the pillow, an honest-to-god, proper pornstar-moan, and croaked out:

"Again! Do that again!"

And so, Lister did! A fraction to the right, pulled out, slammed back in. This time, Rimmer threw his head back and moaned again.

"Again! Harder, Dave, please!"

Lister obeyed, too focused on bringing pleasure to even care about his own. Watching Rimmer was, quite possibly, the hottest thing he had ever seen. He took Rimmer's request and went to town with it, pounding into that arse like a man possessed, holding on to Arnold's narrow hips as he fucked him.

And this time, like so many of his fantasies, but not nearly as many as he would have liked, it was Rimmer who did the talking. He was saying things that went straight to Lister's cock, calling out names and words in that raw, husky 'Ace/Arnold-combination' voice and suddenly, Lister was the one moaning. Who knew that Arnold Rimmer knew words like that? Smeg, they had lost so many years, wasted them fighting, bickering like an old married couple. They could have spent every single night like this. Back at the Dwarf... After Rimmer was made hardlight...

No more wasting! Never again! Rimmer was here! Rimmer was his!

"You're mine, Rimmer! Can't loose you again... Love you... so much..."

"Yes... Fuck, yes... Yours... Anything, Lister, just fuck me... Dave, please... Just like that, harder, keep going... Smeg, Listy, I love you too! Oh, fuck, yeah, do that again... so good... Harder, Listy, fuck me!"

As if there was any way in the multiverse that Dave Lister could ever stop doing that!

He was home!

They were not alone on Starbug, they both knew that. At any second, the door could open and just about anyone could come in. They knew that too!

They just didn't care!

Lister slowed down, wanting to drag this out for as long as possible, fucking his lover with long, firm strokes, like it was the last time they saw each óther and he desperatly needed Rimmer to understand just how much Lister loved him. It was hot and sweaty and passionate and loving, all at once and Lister kept a steady hold on Rimmer's hips as he went a little faster and then slowed down again, took them both to the edge of insanity, and back again, pushing them towards the brink of ecstasy.

Everything was dead silent around them. The world was holding its breath. And no matter how badly Lister wanted this to last, he soon felt himself coming closer and closer to the point of no return. He clenched his teeth together. No! Not yet, damnit! This was for him and Rimmer both and he wanted Rimmer to cum first. He needed that! It was his reward! So, to speed things along, he reached around with one hand and started jerking the hologram's leaking cock with expert movements.

For a few minutes, all that could be heard was their grunting and moaning. And then, Lister couldn't keep his mouth shut any longer.

"Come on, baby, let go, do it now, for me, baby, do it with me... together, just you and me... Cum for me, Arnold! Do it, now!"

And with a strangled moan, Rimmer exploded, shooting his release over Lister's hand. Lister felt the body beneath him shudder and shake as he climaxed, Rimmer's arse tightening so hard around Lister's cock, the Scouser was convinced that his dick was trapped in a vice. He could feel his peak, could actually feel it going through him, from head to toe, making him sweat and tremble, and he began fucking the other man faster and harder, pounding himself in, losing all control and he cried out and then, he was cumming, shooting inside Rimmer with a harsh yell. He was flying! He came like he hadn't been allowed to come for decades and he was vaguely aware that someone was saying his name, over and over... or maybe it was his own voice, calling out Rimmer's name? He didn't know! It was a voice, it said some words... Could have been anyone! He wrapped his arms around Rimmer and held on tight as he rode out the waves. With fireflies behind his closed eyelids and his brain on what seemed to be a permanent vacation, he leaned down, trembling, and rested his head on his lover's sweaty back.

Home! He was home! The world started breathing again! He wasn't even aware of the tears than run down his face. All he'd ever wanted, the one thing that had kept him going, after finding out that everyone else was dead, that he was three million light-years away from Earth, the one thing that his heart had called out for, was to come home. And now, he was home! Rimmer was his home!

It felt like hours before he could land and even longer before he found his voice.

"Smeg!" That was about all he could manage at the moment. He couldn't even move. He didn't want to move. If it were at all possible, he wanted to stay like this for the rest of his life. There was no energy left in his body. He sighed heavily.

"You ok, man?"

"Couldn't be better, sir!" A horribly familiar non-Rimmer voice answered.

Lister froze. He opened his eyes, almost afraid of what he would find, and then he screamed in horror...

And woke up, in his bed... Alone! Again!

"NOOOOO! No way! Not again!"

He roared, getting up, his fists clenched, his eyes filling with tears of anger and frustration and dissapointment. It couldn't be! Not again! He would kill himself, if he thought that would make things better. He screamed in rage, looking for something to break, when the doop opened and Kristine came in.

"Dave?! What's wrong? You look terrible!"

He couldn't tell her! How could he?! He heard Cat and Kryten approaching and suddenly felt like screaming all over again. He wanted to yell, and throw up, and toss himself out into space, but it wouldn't do him any good! The damage was still done! Another dream! Another smegging dream!

"Sir?! Mister Lister, are you alright, sir? We heard screaming? Was it a bad dream?"

A bad dream? Good lord, a smegging BAD dream?! He couldn't even *look* at Kryten! This wasn't happening! Not now! It wasn't fair! It just wasn't...

"Everything alright, Skipper?"

And Ace Rimmer came into the room, blond wig and all. Lister stopped, and stared at him. What the smeg?! Was he still dreaming?

"Ace?"

"Fraid so, Davey! I *do* still remember my own name, you know!"

And then... he winked at Lister!

Lister moved. It didn't take more than a few seconds, but to him, whole universes were born and died before he was standing in front of Rimmer. His Rimmer! No doubt in his mind! No dream! And suddenly, he was beyond caring about anything anymore. Before anyone could react, he reached up and tore off the blond wig, revealing Rimmer's short, dark hair.

"I love you, Rimmer!" he said, almost apologetically, and gently pressed his lips against Rimmer's, wrapping his arms around the hologram in a steel-grip. No way was he letting go this time! No way, you smegger! You're staying right here, with me!

There were about five seconds of stunned silence, and a brief resistance from Rimmer during three of them. And then he felt Rimmer's lips part, the hologram's tongue against his own and strong arms embracing him, holding him close. For the remaning two seconds, Lister was back home.

And then Kryten's head exploded!


End file.
